So Much

The last few years have been hard.  It isn’t just having kids or twins that made it hard.  Which in and of itself that is hard, being a parent.  It’s the hardest thing I’ve done to date.  But the last few years we’ve been watching our twins grow and develop and learn and seeing concerns.

Their first year Ethan led the way on hitting all the milestones.  First to roll over, smile,  laugh, crawl.  Logan was never far behind but Ethan did it first.  Despite this within his first year I saw things that worried me.  His continued lack of eye contact among them.  When they began walking, at 11 months, that is when his development began to lag behind Logan.  Small at first then more and more delay.

By 18 months he was significantly behind Logan on language development and had made significant regressions socially. Our pediatrician however disregarded our concerns because we have fraternal twins so that means different DNA and therefore different development, you can probably hear my eyes rolls at that.  So, we went another pediatrician in the office and got a referral to the local infant toddler program for his speech delay.

A year of speech therapy later and his speech pathologist addressed the other concerns we had seen and recommended we get him in for an evaluation.  Again our pediatrician disregarded our concerns.  Even after pointing out to her that this isn’t just a mothers over protective worry it is the recommendations of a professional who works with children and specifically has worked with Ethan for over a year.  She gave in and gave us the referral to get him evaluated and we got a new pediatrician.

After an initial intake evaluation and a 6 month wait Ethan went through the Autism Clinic and we just received the results.  He has been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and now we find ourselves look into therapies and interventions all while still being in denial.  He has made so much progress since starting speech therapy and subsequently the developmental preschool that it is hard to believe he didn’t just have a short term delay.

It is difficult when you have a diagnosis like this because you oscillate between the myriad emotions that accompany anything with your children.  Angry that you had to fight so hard to be heard, scared for your child’s future, and thankful that in comparison it could be so much worse.  First and foremost we want him to be able to lead a normal life.  Ideally free from pain and struggle.  That seems unlikely though so I guess we’ll settle with preparing ourselves and him and making sure that he gets the help he needs when he needs it.


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