We all deal with and experience rejections, likely on a daily basis. Many of these rejections are small inconsequential things that we don’t give a second’s thought to. Saying no to upsizing at a restaurant. A co-worker turning down your offer for drinks after work. Then there are the rejections we care way too much about. Someone declining a date with us. Our spouse turning their nose up at the dinner you made. But why do these rejections carry so much more weight?
Because of the value we assign them. We take it personally and as a personal reflection on us when we are rejected in certain instances. And sometimes it is a personal critique. Sometimes people are just mean and vindictive and are trying to cause pain but more often than not these are situations that you should be glad about.
Someone saying no to a date with you is likely not someone you want to waste your time on anyway. Maybe it’s their baggage or maybe their not attracted to you but either way why embark on a relationship when the person isn’t into it? Wouldn’t the the momentary sting of rejection early be better than down the road. Or with your spouse; shouldn’t you value the honesty they feel they can give you? Them turning down your dinner is not a reflection of their feelings for you. They married you, not your beef stroganoff.
So, how do you stop assigning so much value and importance to things that you shouldn’t? Conscious effort. Much of our attitude and therefore our overall happiness is self directed. You can sit and fret, worry, and cry about all these things in your life that happen to you and be miserable or you can start taking responsibility for your role in your own life. No one goes through life and just has everything happen to them without it being partially their own fault too.
This lack of personal accountability is one of the biggest causes of our unhappiness. Once you realize how much you are in charge of your attitude it can be freeing. Why spend so much energy on things that aren’t serving you in a meaningful way. And rejection falls into that. You can wallow in self pity at every perceived slight or you can move on, go about your life, and be happy.
Here is your call to action. Be happy. Figure out the things that really matter to you and work for those thing. Stop the comparison game and stop worrying that Jennine in accounting doesn’t like your sweater. If she isn’t part of what you value it literally doesn’t matter. When you begin to go down that rabbit hole of worry and self doubt make yourself stop and focus on something more positive and serving toward your goals.
Yes, this is way easier said than done but there is no time like the present to practice. So, go out there and take responsibility for your actions and happiness. You’ll thank yourself for it.